![]() ![]() Professor Brian Cox, a CERN physicist and full-time rock'n'roll TV scientist, was sympathetic to Mr Cole. Last year, the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so "abhorrent" that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery. ![]() This isn't the first time time-travel has been blamed for mishaps at the LHC. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening." The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender. Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. ![]() He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year. The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world. A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. ![]()
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